Things are going alright, all things considered. We had another ExCELL training this morning – Saturday morning at 8:30. Ugh. But it went alright, and the trainer was nice, and we got paid for the day. I was about out of patience by the end of it, though, and very nearly rebelled again. To prevent that, they always pair up people, so that we can’t refuse without both people agreeing to do so. So I made the silly graphic organizer – but with bad grace.
I really want to get my classes more organized for next week, but the longer I teach the classes the more I realize that, for the most part, I have no idea what I’m doing. People are all nice and reassuring about it, but I know what my lessons are like when they’re good, and these aren’t them. The reasons for that are threefold: I don’t have enough time for the number of classes I’m teaching, and am not very good at managing the time I have; my knowledge of the subjects I’m teaching is very weak; and I don’t have some of the software and supplies I need yet. In the case of the last issue, I’m always somewhat surprised by just how disruptive it can be to my teaching to have to teach the same lesson I would have before, with different supplies. It is, for instance, possible to teach drawing without easels, drawing boards, and 18×24″ paper – but it’s a lot harder for some reason to get students to take an assignment seriously when they’re sitting at a table. And they can’t see as well, or from every angle. It’s little things like that that build up, and get to me.
So I think my mood is hopeful, but irritated. Hopeful, because I am starting to see ways to teach some of this stuff, but irritated because things probably won’t really come together until mid-term, because I don’t have everything I need to teach these classes as I’d like, and, mostly, because I keep thinking that I should be better at this than I am.
I can say with absolute conviction that things are not boring here – and isolated or not, there never seems to be enough time!